EEEEE OMG MY BOYFRIEND'S PICTURE IS UNDER PHD (Pure Hard Dance). Fake, every face there is a fake. Ew much? I can't believe you're back to those zaman zaman again. Oh God, kill me. I'm starting to not like you already, boyfriend. Sick!

Hahaha okay pardon my smelly face. I felt so slack today that's why I dressed up sloppily, even my hair's in a total mess. I can't be bothered to stare at my wardrobe for more than fifteen minutes every morning just to think on what to wear! lol but I'm seriously in need of major shopping. Bangkok in a few weeks! Woot woot ^^

Anyway, there's my boy. Ever so semangat for gigs until wear that stupid Suffocation tee. Panas2 pakai long sleeve, sape ajar? -.-" Hahahaha

Surprisingly, he reached Woodlands MRT like an hour earlier. I told him I end 3.30pm but he misheard that I end at 3pm. Thankfully, my lesson didn't drag else I swear he'll get mad like anything.

Feeling terrified, yes because I'm really scared when he's mad, I quickly greeted him with a hug/kiss the moment I walked up to him. Then I know he was feeling hot, so as an act of apology, I fanned him. Luckily I brought if not World War 3, hahahaha. Kene fan je suke, senyum selebar-lebarnye.

In return, he offered to carry my heavy bag. How nice, so apa lagi without hesitation uh! K I sound so mean hahaha but who cares. So we took the train to AMK and took 136 to Punggol. All because I wanted to waste more time since long bus ride with him is love. In the bus, I swear he was being such a gayfag. He kept irritating me with his stupid actions till I couldn't tolerate and slapped him. Haha! Sorry la k b but you were super irritating that I had no choice! Lulzx.

We ended up at Punggol Interchange, snapped a few pictures and parted. I bet now he's enjoying the time of his life at ze gig without me. Boooo! K la whatever, I'm off to complete my RJ and continue with Boys Over Flowers. Toodles~

I'm not really sexcited anymore uh. 'Cause when I called him minutes ago he told me after he send me home he's gonna go to a bloody gig @ FAD Media. !@#$%^&* please. URGH! I swear once I'm home I'm gonna switch off my hp and not talk to him. Boooo I'm gonna merajok like hell like in the picture above. I'm gonna sleep as soon as I'm done with my RJ and not fucking bother. Don't sweet talk me la, ass. Not gonna work, nonononooooooo! Hahahahahaha punani betol.

Bloody hell la Kris win. He's not even vocally powerful nor nice for nuts! Urghhhh I'm so pissed + sad. Kris doesn't deserve okay, does not! Tsk. Adammmmm ):

Hopefully today's date will really be A date. A date means not having friends around or having to end up with them either ways. He asked me out on this date anyway, after so loooooooong. I'm pleased but we shall see :)

Gig yesterday was alright despite some mishaps towards the end.

Pictures will be up on multiply either tomorrow or tonight yeah. So sabar laaaaa tsk. Kay I'm off to get ready for THE date -.-"

Thank you, my dearest Sunshine. You know you'll always have my back too. I was so happ-ay to see your face smiling widely at me, waving, outside the train doors earlier just now. Heh heh. With just a day missed, we had so many things to catch up on eyy. You sure never fail to make my day la flower girl haha love you :)

Happy 17th birthday, Afiqah Kamsaniiiiiiii! Da besar la dier hahahaha. May your many wishes and dreams come true k. Have fun and enjoy your day to the fullest! Biler mau hang lagi cik kak oiiiii. Missed the times with you during work very much pls ):

I'm in the worst state ever. Been weeping every now and then. Please just go if you don't tend to care anymore. It hurts to have you when you're not even there for me. Because maybe you're here just to drive me to my grave. I don't know if my presence at the gig tmr will even matter at all.

Boy, doesn't time pass by so quickly these days? Sure, it does. It was only Monday when I dreaded going to school because of Science and now it's already Thursday. So much of dreading, now I'm sick. I'm down with a terrible sore throat, flu and feeling a little feverish. So what else, I skipped school ofcourse. Perhaps, I was too stressed out because of yesterday.

Anyhow, for a moment, things were better. But when I woke up, switched on my laptop, checked my emails, approved what I had to and did some random spying like that.. I saw something which I didn't think I'll ever see it again but yeah I did. I don't feel like revealing it because I want things between us to stay the way they are now and not making it any worst than it already is. So I guess I'll just keep it within myself and suffer alone.

My question is: If you truly love me, why are you doing this?

Because I'm seriously missing the Shakimie during the first 3 months of our relationship. You made me fall for that particular you, not the aftermath. If there should be any reason on my change, it's this.

Skipped school halfway despite having a UT dry run later on. My mind just couldn't work due to __________. I took a bus back home to clear my mind and tears ran down my cheeks endlessly. This Friday is the day. It's either you hear less of the boy/us in my future posts or nothing at all.

Because we just can't see eye to eye anymore.

Three tiga san more days till I see his irritating face. Sumpah mintak kene cium uh uh uh heh. I'm starving and I can't wait to head home to stuff myself with foooood! Angela's eating waffle beside me and the smell of it equates temptation! Urghhhh. No, $10, you be good and stay in the purse.

I got through the weekend, not with ease ofcourse, as at most time it felt weird without the boy's presence. I miss his hugs, his kisses, his pattings on my head, his pinches/nibbles on my cheeks, his sniffles on my hair etc.

In other words, a week of time-out is torturous! Can't imagine if we had really went separate ways, can die I tell you! Friday, please hurry. I can't hold on any longer ):

Support M4R's gig on Friday @ OdioCrib! They'll be the last band to perform fyi -.-"

Since every hotel restaurant was fully booked, we dined in at Airport's Breeks as a last resort. However, the parents promised brother & I a lunch buffet @ Mandarin's Triple 1 next weekend. Woo! Anyhow, the food and ambiance was good 'cept for its service. After an over-filling meal, papa drove mama & I to Tampines 1 for a little window shopping whereas he drove back home with brother as he's got zikir to attend to and brother needed to study for his remaining papers. That somehow sums up my day despite feeling a tad lonely deep within, oh well I'm not gonna cry :)

Happy Mother's Day, Mama. Thanks for always being the one to know me best and thanks for always being there for me when I've no one else to turn to. As cliche as this may sound but you know I have always loved you ever since I was brought into this world . ♥

Went on a shopping spree with family earlier today. Bought dresses from Topshop & Dorothy Perkins. Woo at least that cheered me up. Tomorrow will be another round of shopping at Town after a Mother's Day lunch with the familia. Stupid uh all hotel restaurants fully book, tsk ):

Love you, Mom. Thanks for everything today! :)

MAS SELAMAT HAS BEEN OFFICIALY ARRESTED!!! WOOOO SELF DECLARE PUBLIC HOLIDAY YEY HAHAHA ^^

Ahhh TGIF again! I'm freezing in class thank you. It's raining outside and the loud thunder is killing my ears! I miss having the boy covering my ears whenever there's loud thunder 'cause he knows I'm afraid of it. And he's the only boyfriend that does that to me. Urghh k enough about him.

Having 1st break now, bye!

See that tiny green sweets? It's our (Me, Hanan, Raf, Fye & Sha) favourite! You won't wanna know how we borong that greeny fella at our school. Hahahahaha. Nothing much happened today, so just click on my multiply for a few after school pictures.

Time to sleep! Wanna know how I get myself to sleep every night? Panadol :) Even though I'm nowhere near sickness I ate that so that I'll feel sleepy asap and won't ponder about how much I ____ the boy before I sleep. That's exactly how I get by.

Mus and I were chatting yesterday and we suddenly talked about ze boy's birthday. Hahaha random much! But yeah, he's gonna be ze co-organiser chehhh abeh suke! lol we came up with a few plans andand still considering.

1) Gig (Mus's idea, hahaha. He wants it @ FAD then I say Art House uh tapi all masok free HAHA tapi biler dgr it can cost up to 1k tak jadi)
2) Chalet (My idea but might not be able to save up as much as needed. Mane nak bayar chalet, catering etc.)
3) Pit (My idea again but still considering psl nak feed korang2 kan most likely kene order for 1000 people. Haha!)
4) Bowling (Bowl one game after another sampai mampos k)

Hahahahahaha out of all, the pit will be the most likely to happen one. All of you are invited, all those that are close to sasa, uob people for example. Sape tak tau malu kalau tak invited dtg, no food for you. Lol hahahaha k la I'm not that mean la. Nak feed orang mesti dgn ikhlas. No, you guys don't have to pay a cent. Just come and eat and enjoy bashing up the birthday boy!! Expect a larger cake than last year's :) I might need more helpers, so whoever in favour do pm me on msn ok? Must make him cry more tears of joy again like last year heh heh

8 weeks left uhoh~

Today, W47P had pizza for lunch! Ordered a total of 6 boxes of it which total up to $80+. Not forgetting, we took numerous photos too! Here are a couple, the rest take a look at my multiply yeah. W47P-IANS, GRAB YOUR PICTURES @ MY MULTIPLY NOOOOOOOOW!

I was out for lunch yesterday at a nearby coffeeshop outside school with the usuals when a sudden vibration shocked me. I flipped my handphone and saw his name under my missed call list. It took me quite awhile to call him back because I do not know if I should. But then, yeah I did. The conversation somewhat went like this;

Me: Ah hello?
Him: B..... I tak nak time-out ):
Me: Uhhhh why?
Him: Psl nanti I kosongggg. Tak nak time out, please? ):
Me: Entah eh, tgk uh mcm mane.

Till now, you left me confused. One night you say something so hurtful, the next day you want me back like that. What is it that you want? :S

The boy and I are on a idk-how-long timeout. No, he didn't ask for it but I did. I'm fully to blame and I'm nowhere near good for him. After everything he's said, I still love him, as much, but I just can't be with him for awhile. I need time, on my own, to put everything that's happened behind.

I can be the bestest girlfriend sharing with you my luxury of love and life but when things don't go my way, expect the unexpected. To be honest, I've never really felt secured after May 2008 but I tried my best in giving you another chance though what happened could never really be erased from my mind. Till now, it still hurts and that is why I can never look at you the way I did before May 2008.

It sucks to be in this situation, really. However, I rather treasure every moment we've had for a year plus now than breaking up just because of uncalled incidents.

I know, some or in fact most of you, have been talking about me. Saying "I control rabak gile" all that stuffs, I know. Be on the boy's side by all means. Listen to his story and pity him k.

No baby, we're not doing good. I hope to restart and be with the old you one day. Goodbye darling, be good. People whom he calls them friends, please take care of him.

Anyhow, should there be any reason I'm controlling, it's because I want you to be a better man. I don't want you to go back to your zaman gemilang days. I want you to have goals in life. I want you to be doing something that gives you a better way of life. I don't want you to go astray by your normal habits. I want you to wake up one day realising that by playing games, thonning, smoking alot and always lepaking under void decks or anywhere else won't give you a better future. But then again, you'll never see it in a good way. I'm done trying because I was never appreciated. Sigh

1) You're not ready for a serious relationship.
2) No, neither are you ready for sacrifices.

If you really love me, you'd want me to be wherever you are. Don't think I'll be happy when you're over at KL with your boys in June. I'll prolly treat you unreasonably and vent all my frustrations on you once you're back. I'll go crazy I swear. 3-4 days will seem forever to me. Even though I have spies but the feeling just won't be the same. I don't trust him being there without me. He'll simply forget to check on me once in awhile to set my heart at ease that's for sure. Like duh..

# he'll have fun smoking with his friends
# he'll have fun shopping with his friends
# he'll have fun sleeping with his friends
# he'll have fun eating with his friends
# he'll have fun chilling with his friends
# he'll have fun making noises at midnight in the room with his friends
# he'll have fun not wondering/caring about me the whole time.

No, you don't know how I feel. Because I'll never leave this country without you unlike you. ):

I'm not in the best of moods due to something something which I don't feel like sharing. Just that, I like it better when your passport was dead and I will very much like it as well if you're in NS now so you won't be able to get out of the country. Oh well, hopefully I'll be able to psych my mom into getting me this (below) to cheer myself up. I might be changing my hp number so to those who are lucky, I'll text you my new number if not sorry :)

Yesterday was a pretty normal day out. Somehow the day didn't turn out like how I wanted it to be. Anyhow, I met baby in 80 and we headed for Vivo. As soon as we reached, we went to the rooftop and searched for a shady area to complete his project. Helped him a little bit and got over and done with it by 17:30pm.

Baby was feeling hungry and so we headed for the hawker centre opposite Habourfront. As we escalate down, I saw Bimo waiting for Afiqah outside CoffeeBean! Hahaha. Shook hands and soon after they joined us for awhile. After eating, we seperated with them. We headed to UOB and they stayed on.

Speaking of UOB, I so didn't want to make a trip there but baby had to because he needed to pass the split ep to a buyer. I just thought yesterday will be between us and nobody else but yeah eventually it did and I was somehow moodless. And so I dragged baby to Starbucks to cheer myself up, together with Rara and Nosey. Went back to the same port again right after and just chilled till 22:30pm. Baby sent me off to the mrt and I trained back home with Rara.

It's been long I had a proper date with you. Proper date means not having to end up with your friends. Plus, it's been long you send me home. I'm missing all of that. I just want to be staring deeply into your eyes and falling for your kisses over and over again.

P/S: The rest of the pictures are @ multiply
P/P/S: Don't forget your thermometers, Republicans! :)

Hi. It's 9:23 AM and here I am blogging with my desktop. It's such a lag! Urghh I'm awake because nature called and then I couldn't go back to sleep after that. Brother's next to me Guitar Hero-ing. Parents are out to the market for some groceries shopping at Geylang. I miss my lappy!! I can only get it fixed on Monday which is so not fun because I won't have my own lappy during lesson ):

Anyway, I'm meeting baby at 3pm later and we're gg to Vivo!! I'll be helping out with his project work since I can't trust him doing on his own because he'll just submit a crappy one. You know him, semangat 10 minutes only lol. AND I must pay a visit to Zara because I want to see my ex-colleagues! It's been a long time I shopped at Zara uh. I can't shop now because baby's birthday is coming in two months! No more eating in school, Ira! Save, save, save, starve, starve, starve!

Advance day for his friends, and actual day for me. Hmmm where shall it be? Hopefully I can save more than last year uh. Last year total I spent on his birthday was like nearly $500, this year? No idea! I need to get a bigger cake than last year's since all of you are like piranahs hahaha.

I know some of you think that why should I make for him such an extravagant birthday when what he did for me was incomparable? It's because I love to give him the best and only I can/must give him the best. I don't like to treat birthdays, especially if it's someone special to me, like "it's not a big deal". You get what I mean? Yep. Hopefully I can make him cry tears of joy again like last year. But all of you (you know who you are) must be there to make it happening k! :)

I'll be the bestest girlfriend he's ever had and prove to everyone that we can last. Whoever thinks that I dump guys like wtf? Do you even know who actually ditched who? Get your facts right before shooting your mouth off. Name me one guy who I ditched uh! More like they ditched me. You said it like I change guys everyday wow! Only someone who knows me so well thinks I would always want a r/s to last for as long and has never believed in puppy love.

Like come on la, if you think someone isn't good for you don't tell me you still want to be with him? If he hits you because of slightest things, don't tell me you still want to be with him? That's because you only look at my flaws. Seriously, if you have issues, say it to my face. I've never bothered with your life, why should you?

Honestly, idk who else to be close with/trust anymore. One can apologise to me but yet still go arnd and bitch about me. One can say oh it's okay i've put the past behind but still bitch about me. Humans are such hypocrites. At least I have someone that loves me for my true colours unlike you. You say until like you're such a goody two shoes pfft -.-

No, I'm not afraid of you. Because sooner or later, you'll have God to deal with :)

Just look at the weather, look at all the mishaps/riots that are happening. Can't you tell that the sun is nearing the earth and nobody can ever live in peace anymore? Every being cept Muslims have been having pigs for their meals and why only now they spread this disease? Isn't it weird? That's because if God wishes anything to happen it will. I swear the world is coming to an end anytime. So, stop bothering about people's life but yours. Because at the end of the day, it's only you in your own grave.

So, I'm not meeting baby cause there's simply no other way I can help. Fk, I'm sucha useless girlfriend. I'm still waiting for a reply from the school's IT help desk. Hopefully I can get it reconfigured on Saturday. If not, I'll be lappy-less on Monday. Urghhhh!

Anyway, something to look forward to in school next week is.. SUBWAY! IT'S OPENING! WOOHOOOOOOO!

Gonna go to Vivo with baby tomorrow. It's been a long time eh darling :)